Once upon a time there was a prime minister, little-known but respected by his people for his peacemaking talents, whom the 26 other wise leaders of Europe chose as president of their Council. The news was everywhere greeted with great relief, for the man seemed both modest and serious. His bearing inspired confidence in all.

Meanwhile, Europe was entering that period of 6th December to 6th January, when Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas and the Wise Men go to work distributing presents from Luleॠto Seville and from Cork to Nicosia. For Herman Van Rompuy, who was eager to start work immediately, this was a blessed opportunity to observe and note his priorities.

The discussions in Copenhagen were going badly, so it was necessary to choose appropriate transport. There could be no question of using an SUV, nor of importing reindeer or camels by air in order to pull the parcel-laden sledge - he needed to find locally-sourced horses or oxen. He went to several farms in the Ardennes and Flanders but it had been a long time since the farmers there had produced anything more than greenhouse tomatoes. Just when he was about to give up, an adviser reminded him that 2010 was to be the year of biodiversity.

He was happy to observe that Saint Nicholas had just passed through the Western Balkans , bestowing encouragement and rewards. Those who had shown their good will could now enter the Empire without showing a visa. But those who had not been rewarded were downcast.

During his rounds Herman observed how dirty the chimneys had become, and how much energy was wasted. Clearly it was necessary to change people's habits and bring in a European carbon tax. It would certainly be difficult, but it was the only way to give Europe a head start.

He noted also that, despite the cold, many buildings emitted no smoke and their doors were shut - because the businesses within had closed for good. He crossed the paths of numerous unemployed and homeless people, but his advisers explained that there was nothing to worry about because 2010 was also to be the year of action against poverty and social exclusion.

Sad and tired, Herman took a break and wondered if all this misfortune did not have a deeper cause: ten years ago, an immense charter bearing the name "Strategy of Lisbon" had been nailed to the great door of the palace and all the wise leaders had sworn to respect it, but today it was obvious that nobody was doing so. He therefore decided to convene, before Shrove Tuesday, an urgent summit on boosting the economy.

There is not (yet) a moral to this story. Conclusions in 2020!